Sincere Deception Read online

  SINCERE DECEPTION

  BY MESHA BARTON

  COPYRIGHT © 2014 MESHA BARTON

  SMASHWORDS EDITION

  NO PART OF THIS PUBLICATION MAY BE REPRODUCED, STORED IN A RETRIEVAL SYSTEM OR TRANSMITTED IN ANY FORM OR BY ANY MEANS WITHOUT THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSIONS OF THE PUBLISHER.

  THIS BOOK CONTAINS STRONG ADULT CONTENT AND MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME READERS.

  DEDICATION

  The signs, the red flags—they were all staring me directly in the face. I just chose to blind myself to it, because I didn’t want to see the truth. He said he wanted me to be his wife—I knew he wasn’t ready. He said he wanted to have children—I knew he wasn’t capable of giving me that. He promised to never break my heart—I knew promises were meant to be broken. Fate was never on our side. But the idea of receiving the impossible, was just too much to pass by. I had to try. I wanted it, I needed it, and I wasn’t going to surrender until my soul met defeat.

  Chasing love is like trying to drive through a dead-end street—eventually you’d have to turn back around and find a different road. If, and when love is meant to be found, expect to find a road free of dead-ends and tremendous potholes.

  This novel is dedicated to the hearts that love, the hearts that break, the hearts that hate, or have lost their way. There is no way around these experiences. It’s inevitable—but worth it.

  SINCERE DECEPTION

  By Mesha Barton

  CHAPTER 1

  SEPTEMBER 27, 2010

  I could not believe my fucking eyes. Why is my ex-boyfriend calling me? I thought to myself. I had not seen his lying, cheating ass in months. Shaking my head out of disgrace as I stared at the number, I decided not to answer. I declined the call, let it go to voicemail, and within minutes, received a new message notification. Choosing not to entertain him at all, I went into my notifications and deleted the voicemail immediately.

  Suddenly, I heard a knock on my door. I walked towards it, looked through the peephole, and invited my brother in.

  “What’s with the angry face?” he asked as soon as he saw me.

  “I’m not angry. Just a bit confused. Guess who called me?”

  As he took a seat on the kitchen stool, he asked, “Who?”

  “Eugene. He called about five minutes ago—”

  “Oh God,” he said, cutting me off. “Don’t tell me you’re getting back with that fool.”

  Directly in the middle of our conversation my phone started to ring. I glanced to see who it was. It was Eugene again. I sent the call straight to voicemail, then fixed my attention back towards Avery.

  Wearing a sour expression, he asked, “That was Eugene calling, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it was. I don’t know what the hell he wants, though. I thought I made it very clear that I never wanted to speak to him again the day I caught him humping his side chick.”

  “Well if he keeps calling or trying to get in contact with you, maybe you should block his number.”

  “I’m not gonna do all that. I think he’ll eventually fall back if I continue to ignore him.”

  “He might, but why even give him the option to call when you can just block him, or change your number?”

  I could tell that our conversation was bothering my brother by the sudden shift in his energy. Since finding out about my ex’s infidelities, Avery simply hated Eugene’s guts. I had never seen him get pissed about anything as much as he got pissed when someone fucked with the women in his family. Always protective and ready to defend his family in a heartbeat—my brother was a wonderful man. As I sat there watching him roll his eyes and grind his teeth, though, I realized this was not a suitable topic to continue.

  Changing the subject, I asked, “So are you heading to work after you leave here?”

  “Yes. I have to go in a bit early. Are you working tonight?”

  “No, I’m off today. I was gonna stop by Autumn’s house for a little while to see how she’s doing. I didn’t get to see her on her birthday; I had to work.”

  “OK, well you enjoy the rest of your day. I have to get going, but promise me one thing… do not let Eugene back into your home, your life, your heart—nothing. If you refuse to block him from all contact, he is only going to continuously try to force himself back into your world. Don’t give him the option to do that.”

  “I know you’re concerned about me and that’s understandable. But I am not gonna get back with Eugene. I am over him; I am over the situation. Period. I need you to trust and believe that. Please stop worrying about me.”

  “OK,” he said. He stood up to embrace me. “I will stop by again tomorrow.” He planted a kiss on my cheek and headed towards the door.

  Despite my most recent promise to Avery, I simply could not fight the urge to listen to Eugene’s voice message. I took a deep breath as I stared at the phone. I then pressed the play back button. “Hello, Ava. I know it’s been awhile since we’ve spoken… but you’ve been on my mind. I just wanted to know what you’ve been up to. Give me a call back whenever you get a chance. I’d love to hear your voice.”

  After hearing the message, I stood there continuing to stare at the phone, and as I did so, I tried to withhold my grin. His voice was smooth and crisp, just as I remembered. I could not control the chills from flowing down my spine. Trying hard not to reminisce about the good ol’ days, I threw my phone down and stormed to the bathroom. I turned on the sink and splashed a few rounds of cold water on my face. I then walked to my bedroom and flopped on the bed.

  My ex was heavy on my mind and I was tempted to call him back. But at the same time, I knew that would not be right. My mind was in one place; my heart was somewhere else. I was conflicted. As I lied there trying to ignore my desires of pursuit, sweat started to drip down my face.

  I ran back into the living room, snatched my phone off the floor, and dialed his number. As the phone rang, my heart pounded and my face proceeded to drip. I was just about to hang up and come to my senses, when suddenly, he answered.

  “Hello?” he asked.

  “Did someone call this number?”

  “This is Eugene.”

  “Eugene? Oh,” I said, trying to act like I didn’t know who the hell he was.

  His immediate response was a laugh. “You seem annoyingly surprised. Is this a bad time?”

  “No, not at all,” I said, my voice trembling. “You were just the last person I expected to be calling my phone.”

  An awkward silence followed, and a few moments later, Eugene was the brave one who decided to break it. “I know my call was a bit out of left field. I know I’m the last person on earth you’d want to hear from… but in all honesty, I’ve been missing you.”

  “Really?” I said, trying not to make it so obvious that I was flattered.

  “Yes, really. And I was wondering if you’d like to get together. Nothing serious. Just dinner, a movie, and maybe a little conversation?”

  “I don’t know, Eugene. Why the hell would I even consider a date with you after all you’ve done to me?”

  “I know I’ve hurt you and I know you’re pissed about it. You have every right to be. But I want to apologize. If you agree to meet up with me, I will use that time to give you the apology you deserve.”

  I spoke firm and cruel. “We do not need to go out to dinner, sip on drinks, or watch movies for you to apologize. If your intentions are really to apologize, you can do that right here, right now. There is no face-to-face action needed.”

  “OK, you’re right.” He released a sigh, cleared his throat, and said, “But I want to apologize to you for the pain I caused. I was an idiot, I was wrong; I never meant to hurt you. Give me a chance to let you know how sorry I am. Please?”

  Painful memories sta
rted to flash before my eyes, which caused me to freeze our conversation. I was so emotional I couldn’t speak. I decided to put the phone on mute to get myself together. A few seconds later, I took a deep breath, and then unmuted. “Thank you for attempting to apologize, but I gotta get going. Take care of yourself.” Before he could even reply, I disconnected the call.

  I stood there knowing I had made a huge mistake. Not only did I lie to my brother, I had also lied to myself. I promised myself that I would never let him hurt me, or try to manipulate me in any way. I promised myself that I would never speak to him again, nor show him any attention. I promised myself that I would never open my heart to him again. Not even a little. Later on that night, however, I found myself thinking back on the past and all the good times we once shared. Besides his lying, cheating ways, there was something about Eugene that no other man could ever replace. He was my best friend—I could talk to him about anything. He fulfilled my every desire—in the bedroom, he blew my mind. He was my first real love—I never loved a man the way that I loved him.

  CHAPTER 2

  SECRETS & SURPRISES

  I bet you’re wondering who I am, and how I ended up in this situation. Why the hell was I stuck on my cheating ex, right? Well, first off, I’ll start with my name. I’m Ava Morris-Romano. I’m 27 years old, half African American, half Italian, and I was born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. Besides the bad reputation of countless acts of violence, numerous abandoned buildings, and prostitutes standing on the corner—I am proud to call Cincinnati my home. After all, it is where I met my first love, the place I graduated from high school, and even where I received my first college degree. Regardless of what others had to say about my city, I am living proof that there is room for growth and opportunity in the ghetto.

  My mother, Alicia Morris, was born and raised in Madison, Wisconsin. Beautiful face, curvy body, and smooth chocolate-colored-complexion, my mother was a knock-out. The youngest of three children, she grew up with her mother, father, and two sisters in one of the average parts of town. In 1976, at the age of eighteen, she met my father, Marco Romano—a slick Italian fella straight from the core of Bologna, Italy. He, his mother, sister, and three bothers relocated to the United States when he was just a small child.

  Two years after meeting at a Casino Resort in Madison, my parents got married, which is when Mamma packed her bags and shuffled to Ohio. Two years after that, she gave birth to my oldest twin siblings, Avelyn and Avery. Three years later, I was born. Life for the Romano-Morris’s family was pleasant. We didn’t have too much; we didn’t have too little. Four-bedrooms, two-bathrooms, cherry hardwood floors, a large kitchen, and basement—that’s how we were livin’.

  Mamma worked as a Registered Nurse thriving nearly every day of the week to support us, and my father proceeded his career as a Juvenile Mentor for the Cincinnati region. During the times my parents worked, Ms. Nanny Flores was hired to look after the twins and me. Flores was something like another mother. Although in her early twenties and non-related to us, she treated us children as if we were her own family. She spent the holidays with us, took vacations with us, and even taught us how to ride bikes. She became an important factor in our lives, but after meeting the love of her life and getting married, she decided to retire her nanny position and moved back to her hometown, Georgetown, Ohio. By that time, Avery and Avelyn were old enough to look after themselves, while also looking after me.

  Things didn’t start to take a drastic change in my family’s lives until the year of 1995. I was nine years of age. Avery and Avelyn were twelve. The twins and I had just returned home from music class. We walked into our home and Mamma was sitting on the living room couch smoking a cigarette. I knew that something was wrong right away, because Mamma didn’t smoke. Glancing at the floor, I noticed three-packed suitcases. I was desperate to find answers. I placed my instruments onto the kitchen counter, then proceeded towards Mamma.

  “Mamma, what’s wrong?” I asked.

  Mamma didn’t answer. She simply continued to stare at the blank television screen with the cigarette butt positioned between her chapped lips.

  “Mamma, what’s wrong?” Avery decided to ask her again.

  Still, no answer. Mamma just continued to stare. Suddenly, my father walked into the home. Mamma turned to acknowledge him. Still taking puffs of her cigarette, she slowly started to rock her body back and forth. Her eyes were glossy as if she had been crying, and her hands were trembling. Looking over at Daddy, he appeared to be ashamed and fearful of something. As I turned to look at my sister and brother, they were already looking at me. Puzzled, we then turned our attention back towards our parents, realizing that something was seriously wrong.

  “Go to your rooms,” my father told us. “Your mother and I need to talk.” We glanced at Mamma and Daddy once more before rushing upstairs to our rooms. Avelyn went to her room, I went to mines, and Avery went to his. Being nosy, we decided to keep our doors opened just enough to hear their conversation.

  “I know you probably hate me right now, Alicia… but I never meant for you to find out this way,” my father said nervously.

  Speaking calm, yet gloomy, my mother replied… “I can’t believe you would do this to me, to us, to our family. How could you? How long were you planning on keeping this a secret?”

  “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how.”

  There was a long pause, and then I heard the sound of my mother’s weep.

  “Marco, you have another child with another woman. Not only did you cheat on me and betray our marriage, you hid it from our children for nine years! Your oldest daughter is the same age as Ava! Your second daughter was born one year after that!”

  As I listened to Mamma continue to cry, my siblings and I just stood there staring shockingly at one another.

  “If I could take this all back and do it all over again, I would. If I could somehow make this all up to you and our children, I would.” my fathered stated.

  “But you can’t make this up to us, and you can’t do it all over again, Marco! You lied! You cheated! You deceived me, and there is nothing you can do to redo what you did!” Mamma took a moment to cry again. She then took a deep breath and calmly returned to the conversation. “So, you’re leaving us, huh? I see you’ve already packed most your things. Does this mean you’ve decided where you’ll rather be?”

  “Yes, Alicia. I have decided. I am going to do what I should’ve done nine years ago.

  There is no point of me sitting around this house with you while wishing I could be somewhere else. There is also no point of me sitting here watching you hurt, either. I will, however, make sure the kids are taken care of financially. The house is paid off, and you can keep the car. There’s only a few more payments due on it.”

  From the sounds of it, it appeared as though my father dragged a few of his things out of the house, and walked out of the door. Followed by that, I didn’t hear a sound come out of my mother. Avery, Avelyn, and I continued to look at one another in disbelief. Suddenly, my sister stormed out of her room and rushed down stairs to accompany Mamma. Not long after, Avery followed, and so did I. As we stood there hugging her, she cried. I could not quite comprehend the circumstances that had taken place. Did my father really walk out on us to be with this mysterious family? Had he really been living two completely different lives for as long as nine years? Did he really leave my mother sitting there drowning in tears? Did he really? I thought to myself.

  I can honestly say after that day, Mamma was never the same. Our household went from a lively, vibrant place—to a depressing, quiet atmosphere. She never remarried, nor did she attempt to date. She would simply go to work, return home, prepare dinner, assist us with homework, and then head to bed. That became her daily life.

  Although she could not stand my father, Mamma still allowed my siblings and me the option to visit Daddy. She was mature enough to let us see him no matter how bitter and resentful she was about the situation. Avelyn and Av
ery, however, declined. They wanted nothing to do with my father. They refused to speak to him when he called, and they rejected to go to his house when he offered his home. Resenting his tactless actions, they decided to divorce their relationship with him completely.

  Although he had been wrong, I simply could not turn my back on my father. I loved him just as much as I loved Mamma. When I expressed to Mamma that I wanted to visit him, she agreed by driving the forty minute distance towards his home. I remember my first visitation with him and his new family like it was yesterday: it was the middle of October. Mamma had just picked me up from school, and then drove me directly to Hamilton, Ohio. Holding my backpack across my shoulders, I strolled towards the porch of the all-white gated home. I then turned to wave Mamma goodbye. She blew me a kiss, waved goodbye, then sped off. After taking a long breath, I finally rang the doorbell. About ten seconds later, a petite, gorgeous, African American woman with lengthy black hair opened the door.

  Smiling, she said, “Well, hello, Ava. I’m Diane. I am so glad you could make it.” She leaned in and threw her tiny arms around my shoulders, and as she did so, she patted me on the back. She invited me into the home and shut the door behind her. The first thing I noticed about the home was its unique designing. The place was bursting with vivid colors. Each room was painted a different shade. The living room area was lime green, the dining room, which was next to the living room, was yellow, and the kitchen was dark orange with a theme of fruits—peaches and apricots. Directly in the center of the home was a two-way flight of stairs. A flight of stairs on the left side, and a flight of stairs on the right.

  Just as I continued to observe the home, a young girl ran down the left flight of stairs and put her hand out in front of me. Smiling like a kid in a candy store, she said, “Hello, I’m Autumn! My mom is preparing dinner for us! Come on! We can play in my room for now!” I shook her hand nervously. Without saying another word, she grabbed me by the arm and led me upstairs to her bedroom. Her bedroom was huge. I mean, her one bedroom was the size of two of mines put together. She had a queen-sized mattress filled with teddy bears and fluffy sheets. To the left side of her room, there was a computer. To the right side, there was a television. She even had her own personal bathroom. The walls were painted hot pink, the carpet was black, and the curtains were both black and hot pink.